Read the complete transcript at Mother Jones, or jump directly to these highlights from Romney:
On the 47 percent of Americans "who will vote for the president no matter what."
On the dividends of his anticipated November 6 victory: "we'll see—without actually doing anything—we'll actually get a boost in the economy."
On the "almost unthinkable prospects" for Mideast peace: "I look at the Palestinians not wanting to see peace anyway…and I say there's just no way."
And here are some telling moments you may not have heard about yet:
Mocking immigration in the United States: "[If] you have no skill or experience…you're welcome to cross the border and stay here for the rest of your life."
Envisioning a pre-election hostage crisis, à la Iran and Jimmy Carter: "If something of that nature presents itself, I will work to find a way to take advantage of the opportunity."
Claiming that "the Fed is buying like three-quarters of the debt that America issues." (Which, despite Romney's expertise in finance, is plain wrong.)
Joking about media strategy and his reputation as a "rich, rich guy": "You know that I'm as poor as a church mouse."
Making enemies on the late-night talk show circuit: "Now Letterman hates me because I've been on Leno more than him."
An odd rant from an audience member: "How are you going to win if 54 percent of the voters think China's economy is bigger than ours? Or if it costs 4 cents to make a penny and we keep making pennies? Canada got it right a month ago. Why isn't someone saying, 'Stop making pennies, round it to the nearest nickel?' You know, that's an easy thing, compared to Iran."