BY: JOE AMERICAN
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church's National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., as part of his campaign to restore his poll standings.
Bush's campaign manager, Karl Rove, made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him: "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the President's position on the Iraq War, Hurricane Katrina, stem cell research, and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if, during your sermon, you'd say the President is a saint."
The Bishop thought it over for a few moments.
Finally he said: "The Church is in desperate need of funds, so I will agree to do it."
When President Bush and Karl Rove showed up in church that Sunday, the Bishop began his sermon: "I'd like to speak to you all this morning about our President. It gives me no pleasure to state that George Walker Bush is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel.
He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people. He lied about WMDs and then illegally invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing the deaths of well over one-hundred thousand people, and making the United States the most hated country on earth.
He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded contracts and tax-cuts to his rich friends, so we now have more poverty in this country, and a greater gap between rich and poor, than we've had since the Great Depression.
He instituted illegal domestic wiretaps when getting a warrant from a secret court would have been a mere administrative detail, had his henchmen lie to Congress about it, then claimed he is above the law. He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since the Teapot Dome Scandal.
The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt, gas prices are up 55%, and vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because he's afraid to lose votes from some religious kooks."
"I was going to say that he is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known. At this moment, the Bishop looked directly at Karl Rove, who was apoplectic.
"But compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, George W. Bush is a saint!"
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